I’ll confess these days I wince when I hear mother-in-law jokes.  I wince because I am a mother-in-law times three.  I have three wonderful in-law kids, and our family is enriched three-fold by their addition.  I’m hoping to be a completely different kind of punchline at the end of my life.  As goals go, that’s not so trivial, is it?

My husband’s mother Lillian passed on years ago.  She was beloved by her children, a constant optimistic presence in their lives no matter what was really happening.  We used to say that if Lillian’s house burned down, she would hold out her hands and tell us how toasty a good fire felt on a cool winter evening.  Had it burned down in summer, she would have run out to the store for marshmallows.  Since my husband’s father was ready and willing to spot the dark cloud in every silver lining, Lillian’s optimism was particularly well received by her children.

Lillian had a wild streak, although by the time I knew her, that streak had been tamed by five children, a full-time job and a crushing burden of housework and cooking that she allowed no help with.  I watched her march daughters and daughters-in-law out of her kitchen whenever assistance was offered.  Even more horrifying, I watched her stand between the stove and the kitchen table as the rest of the family ate, so she could better serve them.  Although I made certain never to repeat this tradition in my own home, I now understand that Lillian loved to serve, and her meals, no cookbook in evidence, were her pride, examples of the best of southern country cuisine.

Lillian’s youth was a different story.  She grew up in a small town in North Carolina but still spent time on the Navajo reservation in Arizona clerking in her brother’s store.  In her final years she still remembered a variety of Navajo phrases and the musical name someone had given her, which meant sparkling diamond–a fitting description.  Once in that wild and crazy period she pretended to be a reporter so she could snag an interview with Roy Rogers, and did. 

In her fourth year at Elon College, WWII was declared and Lillian quit to join the Waves.  She married a Chief Petty Officer and spent much of the rest of her life on Naval bases working as a secretary and raising children, but she still did handstands and cartwheels whenever she had the opportunity.  She had a beautiful smile and a fierce protective instinct that meant each in-law was under scrutiny until the day Lillian died.  She was a friend to everyone, but only a few people really knew her, and she was related by blood to each and every one of them. 

The bonds between in-laws are tentative and sometimes difficult. Inlaw jokes can be rooted in reality, but this week, devoted to motherhood, is a good time to look at the women in our lives who have “mothered” us.  I am grateful for Lillian, whose positive spirit lives on in my husband.  I’m grateful she fought to help all her children succeed and cared enormously if they did or didn’t.  I’m grateful that she never interfered in my marriage, and that I was able to witness the results of a lifetime of struggle to find the best in everybody.  Most of all, I am grateful that even at the end, when she was in the grip of dementia, her graceful, loving spirit continued to shine, and that she passed on, still knowing she was loved by everyone who had known her.

In honor of Lillian, I’ll be giving away three copies of A Mother’s Touch, which was just reissued for the holiday.  This is an anthology devoted to Mother’s Day, and my novella, A Stranger’s Son, appears there along with novellas by superstars Linda Howard and Sherryl Woods.  To enter the giveaway, comment here and tell us what you loved about your own mother-in-law.  (To comment simply click on “comment” on the top right of this post).  If you never had a mother-in-law?  Tell us about a woman who reached out to you somewhere in your life journey.  Random.org will make the final three selections for winners on May 14th.

This week some of you may have entered a Mother’s Day giveaway on my Facebook page by telling stories of your moms.  Although the prize is the same, this giveaway is separate, and you’re welcome to enter both, although there’ll only be one win per reader.  Long live mothers and mothers-in-law, and the good influences they can have on us. I hope to be counted in that number.

More than a year ago, quilt and fabric designer Pat Sloan and I began a block of the month project based on a quilt mentioned in Sister’s Choice, the fifth book in my Shenandoah Album series.  This month we’re pleased to say we have just posted the final pattern of the series, the layout(s), cutting, and sewing directions.

Those of you who have participated with us know there are two versions of the quilt.  Pictured here is Pat’s 12 block version, which is a decorative wall quilt.  My Advent version has 24 removable stockings to fill, one for each day leading up to Christmas.  Mine’s all done but the shouting, and I will post photos here next week so you can see the finished project.  I’m hoping it will be my granddaughter’s Christmas present, and that she will enjoy it for years to come. 

You can read more about the project by going here.

Along the way Pat and I offered a giveaway to one participating quilter and another for a quilter who finished all the stockings and posted the photos on our Flickr page.  Cathy won a set of my Quilt Along With pattern books and Sarah just won a grand prize of all sorts of goodies.  Congratulations to both women, and to everyone who persisted and finished the stockings.  Now, finish the quilt.

Didn’t do this but wish you had?  All the patterns will be archived at Pat’s website for at least a year, so you still have time.  Look around while you’re there.  Pat has a lot to offer.

And while I’m announcing giveaways?  Congratulations to Audrey, Emily and Marilyn who commented about my Rising Tides covers and chose the ones they liked best.  Each will receive copies of Iron Lace and Rising Tides in their latest mass market paperback version.

Feeling sad you haven’t won anything?  Check my Facebook page for yet another opportunity. Everyone who tells us a favorite memory of his or her mother will be entered in a giveaway for a copy of A Mother’s Touch, an anthology of three novellas in honor of Mother’s Day.  Random.org will choose three winners, so add your comment by May 6th for a chance to win.  You don’t have to ask me to friend you.  If you’re already a Facebook member, just click on the link above, and it will take you right there. 

More contests coming up in the near future, so please check back to see what the publication of Fortunate Harbor in July will bring.